Listen to Jim: http://www.jimreedbooks.com/mp3/edge-of-wetness-2010.mp3 or read on…
THE EDGE OF WETNESS
Most people don’t “get” us Southerners, most don’t “get” the South and the way we live in this part of the country.
No, this isn’t one of those diatribes we Southerners are prone to spew, in which we talk about how Down Here the writers are better, the people are always Right, the belles are prettier, the footballers are ballzier, the patriotism is patriottier…this ain’t about that at all.
What this message is about is that the climate and the pace and the social intercourse Down Here are all different from other parts of the country. The best aspects of this are admirable, and we won’t talk about the dark side at all.
Down Here, when we say the weather is hot, we mean really hot and most definitely really humid. Folks in Wyoming don’t know about humid—which makes everything seem twice as hot or twice as cold as it actually is. In the South, we know all about hot and humid—we’re the experts. When we hit that wall of wetness, going from an air-conditioned room to 101 degrees heat index outdoors, we are not surprised!
Now, about social intercourse. Each part of the country sports its own style of manners, and those who visit here are amazed at how we treat each other in public. We tend to say “sir” and “ma’am” and “thank yew” and mean it, whereas some Americans who live elsewhere think those terms are sarcastic or disrespectful. Believe me, they are not. When we say “sir” and “ma’am,” it means our Mamas taught us to act polite to everybody, regardless of age or sex or race or religion or goofiness. We are instructed by example to keep our opinions on these subjects to ourselves in public, so that you can’t tell how we really feel. You just know it feels nice to have somebody verbally respect you.
Patiotism extends itself into all sorts of areas in the South—pulling for Auburn or Alabama is patriotic and the right thing to do. Paying homage to our Confederate ancestors is respectful, regardless of whether we approve of their attitudes on race and sectionalism. Bragging about the town we live in is expected, even if we think our leaders are loopy or crooked, and even if potholes crack our teeth. Patting the head of a toddler or offering a nibble to a pet or taking the elbow of an elderly person crossing the street—these are things that we do, things that transcend our prejudices about “the kids these days” and dog poop and annoying old folks.
In some other parts of the country, people can feel threatened when youhold a door open for them or offer them a seat on a crowded bus or signal to them that they have an under-inflated tire. They tend to think you are criticizing them or looking down on them or patronizing them. But Down Here, it’s the Right Thing to do.
In other words, Down Here, when somebody advises you to do the right thing, you know exactly what that means.
I pity folks who were brought up not knowing these genteel ways of behaving in public.
We Southerners have many faults and many social problems, but at our best, we at least know how to make you feel right at home.
And when we say “Y’all come back, you hear?” you know that we really and truly mean it
© Jim Reed 2010 A.D.