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THE GENUINE AUTOMATIC AND GUARANTEED PROFANITY CUT-OFF SWITCH
The genuine automatic and guaranteed profanity cut-off switch has served me well in life. For sixty years, it has kept me out of much trouble…and maybe caused more trouble at certain times.
Let me expound briefly.
First thing I learn on Day One of being an actor—at the age of 13—is, don’t carry who you are onto the stage. Save it for backstage.
This means that if you flub a line during a live performance, you don’t curse aloud. To do so, back in these olden days, will mean instant dismissal. Flub a line, just keep on talking till you find that line, thus making the other actors breathe sighs of relief. When something—anything—goes wrong during performance, don’t burden the audience with it. The show must go on!
I carry this bit of wisdom with me when I begin appearing on live radio shows, then again on live television programs. Flubs are acceptable. Losing It is not acceptable. It is easier on the radio, since you can simply flip a switch on the microphone, burst forth with a profanity or a sneeze, then switch it back on and continue as if nothing happened—the audience being none the wiser. During television shows, you can’t control the sound, so you just repress the urge.
In later life, after the broadcasting career, this little bit of enforced behavior stands me in good stead. When speaking before customers or in front of audiences, I am unable to curse involuntarily. To do so would make the audience uncomfortable, cause the subject at hand to become sidetracked, and generally ruin my timing and pacing—both of which are key to good conversation, good expounding.
To whom do I owe this early wisdom, this enforced behavior? Well, in early broadcasting, my mentors were Harriett Rowand, Don Rollins and Joe Langston. In The Theatre, there were folks like Marian Gallaway, Frank Stallworth, Bill Fegan. I at least got to thank Joe Langston and Don Rollins for their help. I am guilty of never going back to thank the rest.
It seems that these tiny bits of knowledge, almost unnoticed when born, become bigger and more influential as time goes by. Therefore, in my lifelong archives of columns and stories and true tales, let it be known that my thanks is sincere.
Just saying
© Jim Reed 2014 A.D.