Listen to Jim: http://www.jimreedbooks.com/mp3/sportschallenged.mp3 or read on…
No use trying to hide the fact that I am sports-challenged.
Yep, I am one of those geeky-nerdy types whose DNA does not include the Sports Gene.
There’s nothing intriguing or challenging about watching folks compete with one another while adoring fans oust their frustrations by egging on favored athletes and denigrating Those Others.
Of course, there might be ways to induce me to attend or watch sporting events, but they are unlikely to occur.
For instance:
I would love to see a football game that does not allow passing or kicking. Athletes would have to win the hard way, by holding onto an oddly-shaped bladder and running like heck till they score or are flattened.
I would gladly attend a basketball game that only allowed players under five-foot-two to play. That would be an exciting contest!
I’ll be the first ticket-purchaser to a baseball game where no-one is allowed to spit, chew or scratch. The tension on the field would be intense.
I would watch any ice-skating competition so long as commentators and judges are banned. That way, I can enjoy the competitors for the grace and skill of their performances, bereft of all snarky criticisms and asides and gradings.
Viewing a golf tournament would be awesome if the rules were updated so that each hole had to be played in under ten minutes. Let’s let those players work hard and fast! Get it over with so I can change to the bikini-babe volleyball channel (Actually, the only sport I ever enjoyed watching—got to see one on cable years ago. I don’t know who won.)
And so on.
What sports would you like to see created just for you?
Can’t wait to hear
(c) Jim Reed 2011 A.D.