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Edgar Beatty Exhausts His Invulnerable Prerogative on Eastwood Avenue
Right now (many decades ago), I am a wee lad, frantically shooing away the constantly buzzing words that fling themselves at me.
I am someday going to be called a nerd somewhere by somebody. I know I am a nerd, even though I’ve never heard or seen such a word. Sometime in the distant future, I will learn to call myself that, but right now, I’ll just use the word to make it easier for you to understand what I am talking about.
Words fascinate me at this young age. Right now, I know just a few thousand words, but each day I learn more, mainly by observing the world around me.
For instance, one day my next-door adult neighbor, Edgar Beatty, is having a shouting match with another adult neighbor who is strutting menacingly because Edgar’s dog has chased his child. Edgar stands him off and refuses to apologize for his pet’s behavior. The red-faced neighbor stomps off, yelling over his shoulder that he’s going to call the police. Edgar yells back. “That’s your prerogative!” and disappears into his house.
I am stunned. I have seen that word “prerogative” in books, but I have never heard anybody actually say it aloud, let alone in a sentence. Edgar Beatty, being a roughhewn man, seldom uses words more than two syllables long. But suddenly he’s throwing “prerogative” around as if he’s a closet intellectual. And he’s using it powerfully, like a missile.
I’ll never know where Edgar Beatty learned such a word, but I do make a note to re-examine my ideas about who knows what and how much and why. I am always making notes. Up till now, I assume that I, the bookish kid on the block, am the sole owner of that word.
It’s that way with other words, too. I always remember where I learn them. Like the time I’m listening to a favorite radio serial called “Front Page Farrell.” My hero, Farrell, has been running through the cars of a moving train, chasing some bad guys. His loyal girlfriend suddenly stops and proclaims, “I am exhausted!” Whoa! Exhausted? I have seen this word in print but, never having heard it spoken, assume it is pronounced ex-HASTED. All this time, I have been ex-HASTED now and then, never exhausted.
Front Page Farrell adds a word to my vocabulary.
I learn many, many words in similar fashion. For instance, in Superman comic books and on his radio show, Superman always talks about being invulnerable. Invulnerable. I have to reason that one out. He also occasionally becomes vulnerable, like when Kryptonite shows up. So…invulnerable must mean bullets bounce off him. Vulnerable means he becomes weak and more like us mere humans. Those are great words!
I’m still learning to use new words. I even use Edgar Beatty’s example and occasionally employ a word as a missile. Like the word antidisestablishmentarianism. Somebody tells me this is one of the longest words around, so I take ownership and use it now and then.
I am impressed with myself, but nobody else is.
To this day, finding a new word, learning the subtleties of old words, changing the power of words through inflection or volume, omitting obvious words and finding fresh replacements…it’s all a preoccupation that gives me great pleasure. I can always entertain myself by noticing how words are misused, misunderstood, twisted, re-imagined, misspelled, weaponized, deflated, discarded…
It’s a game any nerd can enjoy.
Even if you are the only kid on the block who knows how to play it
© Jim Reed 2015 A.D.
http://www.jimreedbooks.com/podcast