Listen to Jim’s podcast:
http://redclaydiary.com/
or read his story below:
CHAIRSAPOPPIN’
There are these skirted chairs around our dining room table, and it’s one of these I’m sitting on right now, only this chair is comfortable in just a couple of ways: the top part of the backrest is firm and soft and cozy, but the bottom part of the backrest is mushier than my spinal base can accommodate, so I’m slanting rather forward. In addition to this, the seat part of the chair is nicely firm and soft, but if I don’t get a pillow from the sofa and brace my lower back with it, I can’t sit here for long.
Let me get it positioned now. Ah! That is better! Now, I can write for a while in this nice orthopaedically-disciplined seat and ponder THE MYSTERIES OF CHAIRS.
Here goes:
Chairs from heaven, chairs from hell,
Chairs that make you feel just swell
Chairs that maim your rear and spine
Chairs that make you want to whine
Chairs that get you all aroused
Chairs that make you feel quite soused
Chairs that push you back too far
Chairs that give your skin a scar
Chairs that pull and hold you close
Chairs that rock and roll the most
Chairs too beautiful to sketch
Chairs with little room to stretch
Chairs that squeeze you till you’re dry
Chairs that want to pinch your thigh
Chairs that creak and moan and groan
Chairs that swallow up your phone
Chairs that suck loose change away
Chairs that lean too much and sway
Chairs so high your feet just swing
Chairs that make you want to sing
Chairs so low your bottom scrapes
Chairs with covers matching drapes
Chairs that make your fanny stick
Chairs that wear your trousers slick
Chairs from heaven, chairs from hell
Chairs bought from a ne’er-do-well
Chairs most comfy and divine
Chairs that almost cross the line
Chairs that make your thighs get creased
Chairs whose springs need lots of grease
Chairs to smooch on–I’ll not tell!
Chairs that dance a bagatelle
Chairs you stand on–grab the sky!
Chairs to hide from lest they cry
Chairs you flop in when you’re tired
Chairs you doze in when you’re wired
Chairs that make you sit up straight
Chairs too rickety to hate
Chairs that tip you when you lean
Chairs that envy and turn green
Chairs that just won’t budge an inch
Chairs that may give you a pinch
Chairs with seatbelts keep you safe
Chairs with three legs make you chafe
Chairs that scuff you on the shin
Chairs that kinda make you grin
Chairs that vibrate, chairs that shake
Chairs that really take the cake
Chairs from heaven, chairs from hell
Make me comfy! Make me well
(c) Jim Reed 2017 A.D.