Catch Jim’s podcast on youtube: https://youtu.be/vkA-fBemm7A
or read his transcript below:
SEPARATE AT PERFORATION
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The directions on the sealed package of bandages next to me in the exam room: SEPARATE AT PERFORATION.
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I stare at the phrase since I have nothing better to do at the moment.
SEPARATE AT PERFORATION.
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Is this a demand? Shall I separate right now? Or is this a suggestion? Should I require a bandage shall I at that time separate at perforation?
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I’m filling time here. Nothing to read but the labels on metal machines and plastic devices and polyester packages.
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SEPARATE AT PERFORATION. What would They do if I decide to cut the package open rather than separate it? Is there a law?
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The reason my brain is rattling about aimlessly is that at this moment I am attractively attired in an open-backed hospital gown and underwear and black socks and shoes. I await the doctor and his verdict, er, diagnosis.
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I left my dignity and self-esteem at the check-in counter.
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My gaze returns to SEPARATE AT PERFORATION. Can’t wait to separate from this place. I would even jump the perforation and head down the road were I able.
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Let me out of here! my brain nudges me. No, remain calm! the apparition on my right shoulder commands calmly. I think some of the anesthetic has not yet worn off.
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Later, again sitting alone after the doc has dismissed me, I await being stripped of my rank as patient. I will be shuttled through the discharge system by a distant wheelchair operator after things are removed from my arm.
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And at some time, after the band around my wrist disappears, after little sticky patches affixed to my body are OUCH!ed away, after that is a part of the vivid past, I will return home and take a shower.
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Gonna wash that hospital right out of my hair. Gonna find a way to make the sticky patches and icky feeling disappear.
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Gonna write my way back to normalcy.
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Gonna tell you more about my now-perforated and mended body than you want to know. More than you need to know.
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On second thought, I won’t bore you with further details. You’ve had enough of me for one day.
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Go have some fun on your own. And avoid all the perforations you can during this beautiful pause in time
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