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Life, actually…

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LOOKING AHEAD TO THE PAST

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This is a good day to gaze into my crystal ball, that archive that thrives within my memories.

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Yep, just like you, I have a head full of memories both good and bad, glad and sad, hopeful and iffy. This hidden crystal ball, this archive of Me, serves me well at times.

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There is always a more pleasurable time at the fingertip, ready to spring into wistful life and provide me with a positive charge when most needed.

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That reservoir of fond memories prods me with questions—what is a smile worth? What is the value of a secret laugh? What will be the final humorous thought that crosses my mind? If some day I gotta go, wouldn’t I prefer to be wearing a mysterious smirk to perplex the undertaker? Wouldn’t a puzzling grin cause friends and enemies to wonder whether I knew something they don’t?

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Gazing into my archive reminds me there were good times, good times that did not occur merely to lie fallow and fade. Those good times are at the ready, awaiting my command, my password.

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What was my past pleasure? Where did it happen? When? How did it feel, taste, sound?

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Was it simple—lying on my back in a childhood back yard, looking at clouds and trying to animate scenes and stories from them?

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Was it complicated—like acing an exam I thought I would never live through?

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Was it secret—something I saw that gave me great pleasure…my little secret between me and myself?

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Or was it a guilty pleasure, one I may share with an old friend someday, or was it something I’ve never really done but always enjoy thinking about doing?

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Whatever.

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Fond memory does not have to be complicated. I can recall what a carnival smells like, what a meadow feels like under bare feet, what a chrome trim looks like in the bright sun, what the first-ever kiss felt like from the first-ever love in my life, what the kiss of my mother felt like when I was three years old and accepting all loving gestures.

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I can utilize my archived fond memories any time. There are more than I can possibly call up on a lifetime. They are there to be replayed, freeze-framed, fast forwarded, slo-moed, cherished.

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And to heck with all those archived bad memories. They are not worth the effort—unless there was something nice and kind to remember or re-think in the midst of all that grimness

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© Jim Reed 2024 A.D.

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