Hear Jim’s 3-minute podcast: https://youtu.be/bHcLz2r0OTo

and read his true story below…

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Life, actually…

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STALKING THE CELERY AND DRAFTING THE WILL

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I am in the Way Back of my early life, a kid sitting on a front step blithely munching on a celery stalk.

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This special moment exists all by itself. There is no just-a-few-minutes-ago thought, there is no dread of the next few minutes, there are no responsibilities looming.

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There is just me, there is just myself and one celery stalk.

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Will life ever get purer or sweeter?

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Maybe you had a childhood like mine. Maybe you had no childhood at all. Just in case you didn’t, I thought I would throw a few lines your way to help both of us refresh and reboot something called kidhood.

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As this humid morning settles over me I stare at the celery and prepare for the next loud crispy crunch. It is mystifying and satisfying. The chewed bits disappear into my innards, a few greenish strings catch between teeth and have to be extracted.

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I wonder whether celery feels pain. If I find out it does indeed feel the pain of being eaten, will I commence to starve to death rather than cause any more trouble? If celery and all living things have inner lives does this make us cannibals?

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Fortunately for a young and excited mind such as mine, a dozen other inquiring ideas overlay this frightening aha! moment. I am easily distracted by the next split second—a thirsty mosquito intervenes and provides a welcome distraction.

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I rub my palms dry, examine the wrinkles that appear and disappear as fingers flex. I squint at the sun and wait for the first playmate to appear on the lawn.

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Later that day, supper and chores having been appeased, I lie abed and think about the large carrot waiting for me in the refrigerator. The thoughts of pain and puzzlement do not reappear any time soon.

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Life is so good. I am in no rush to grow up. I hold on to my simplicity as long as possible. I revisit it to this day, each time I feel burdened and overloaded with the maddening varieties that the accidental universe presents to me.

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Celery is one of a thousand escapes I employ in order to hold tight to life.

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I tell myself that we the stubborn shall inherit the Earth. The stubborn among us who stave off the power of overseers, the power of those who missed childhood by that much.

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Even if we the stubborn do not inherit the Earth, we will definitely contest the will

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© 2026 A.D. by Jim Reed