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I Got the Early Morning Cranky Bust-the-Routine Pre-Caffeine Blues Oh Yeah
The ringing in my ears triggers an automatic response. Left hand rises from prone body, towers to the ceiling for a second, then descends like a fallen tree and slaps quiet the alarm clock by the bed. Silent morning, holy morning, all is calm for a few seconds.
Chase away the cobwebbed remnants of a discomfiting dream, push aside dreadful imaginings, rub eyes wide awake, access the A.M. checklist called How to Get Through the Moment.
Am I the only member of my dubious species who is aware of what is going on here? We are all doing time, aren’t we? And in turn, time is doing us.
So, following the checklist, I jump for joy onto the cold wooden floor, seize the morning, look over my shoulder at the good things I’ve almost missed, prepare for the Big Punch Line that will inevitably occur somewhere down the road.
To get into the rhythm of the day, I let it all go. Freefall into the pleasures, shake off the “I Got the Early Morning Cranky Bust-the-Routine Pre-Caffeine Blues Oh Yeah” song in my head. Purposely walk the sunny side of the routiines, avert my eyes and mind when the Dreadfuls smirk and attack.
Aware that I am a living being under the Dome. Conscious of the fact that I am a prisoner locked inside this misshaped pale body bag. Constantly alert to the grand possibilities.
When all this improvisation gets rolling for the day, the Attitudes arise.
I can handle That.
Even if I can’t handle That I can appear to handle That.
Isn’t this what most of us adults try to do each day, anyhow? I am not brave, but I certainly know how to act brave, in order to avoid spreading my fears, in order to set an example to help someone else get through the day, in order to share a bit of hope and cheer in a sometimes dreadful world, in order to remind others that there are things in life that can tamp down the words of naysayers and wrongdoers and ne’er do wells and damaged prophets.
It’s a grand bit of acting, this daily behavior. As the years tumble down, I begin to realize that I am powerless to change anything substantially. I learn that there are things I can do that, perhaps in their own way, will make minuscule differences. For instance, I can hug my family and tell them I love them…each and every time I see them. I can stop an extra moment and listen to the diatribe or woeful tale of a stranger. I can share a kindly word with someone who seems to be yearning for one. I can stuff my ego into my back pocket and present my best grumpy old smile.
And the best thing I can do is remind myself that I am everybody I come in contact with.
There are no substantive differences.
I am everybody. And when I forget that fact, I become less human and more narcissistic—narcissism and lack of empathy being two of the worst flaws in our collective DNA.
So, just bear with me for a few seconds when we meet, allow me time to fan away the “I Got the Early Morning Cranky Bust-the-Routine Pre-Caffeine Blues” song and dredge up the better part of myself to share with you.
Oh yeah
© Jim Reed 2015 A.D.