Listen: http://www.jimreedbooks.com/mp3/toolatetoedit.mp3
or read on….
Free entertainment abounds in local publications.
This is an actual direct quote from the editorial page:
“…management, employees and loyal customers are rejoicing because of an unbelievable groundswell swell of support across the South…” There’s nothing sweller than a groundswell swell of support, don’t you know? Or a swell groundswell, especially if the groundswell is unbelievable. Why even make the statement if it’s unbelievable? The mental chaos is so swell, the reader forgets the purpose of the article.
Another editorial page quote:
“Our affection for the automobile and neglect of transit make Birmingham-Hoover area roads the second most deadliest in the U.S.” What’s worse than being the second most deadly of anything? The second most deadliest, that’s what’s worse.
Funniest newspaper quote of the year:
“Asked if it was against the law (to parachute off the top of tall Birmingham buildings in the middle of the night), Williams chuckled and said, ‘You just can’t go around jumping off buildings anytime you feel like it.’” Does this mean you are allowed to parachute-jump off buildings anytime you don’t feel like it? Or is there a certain time it’s ok to parachute-jump off buildings? Even if these questions are rhetorical, the statement itself is straight out of Mayberry or Dogpatch.
Alabama tour guide listing:
“ANNUAL TOUR OF HISTORIC MOBILE HOMES THIS MONTH” While the proofreader and editor took long naps, this went to press and was distributed throughout the English-speaking world, in order to attract tourists. To non-Southerners, it sounds like what they already may think of us—owners of mobile homes so old they are now historic. On the other hand, I’d love to see what a tour of historic mobile homes would be like. The residents of Mobile, however, are not amused.
And this heading from an obituary column in a hospital employee newsletter:
IN MEMORANDUM
Is this enough for now? If you know of other actual press quotes, send me a memoriam
(c) 2012 A.D. by Jim Reed