A WISH FOR THE YEAR UPCOMING

Life, actually…

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A WISH FOR THE YEAR UPCOMING

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Christmas Day just sped by and is now a fresh but gossamer memory.

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How does this happen? This annual celebration lasts a few hours, then flees, residing only in memory.

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Can Christmas—or at least the idea of Christmas—stay with me all year through?

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Is it possible to retain these feelings of concern and care and charity and generosity and love for more than a day?

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What is it about me the human? I know how to be kind, but I keep slipping up and reverting to…

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Well, I alternately display my best and my worst during any brief time period.

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Just when things are going smoothly, something worrisome pops up and destabilizes my best intentions. Momentary amnesia prevails.

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Then, just as glumness descends and locks itself in place, something delightful occurs, something fine and kindly that I never expected pokes its head around the corner and gifts me with laughter and hope.

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Sometimes the coaster slowly ascends, sometimes it suddenly drops into freefall and terrorizes me.

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What a life.

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Anyhow, today, acting as a member of this particular accidental species, I am hopeful and grateful and happy.

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If only I could find a way to capture hopefulness and gratitude and happiness and hold these feelings in a special place, then dispense them with generosity and empathy to you and to all others who have the same longings.

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If only

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© Jim Reed 2021 A.D.

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Hear Jim at Jim Reed’s Red Clay Diary: https://youtu.be/PP2gnREhlEg

 

 

THE ALMOST CHRISTMAS ANGEL

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Life, actually…

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THE ALMOST CHRISTMAS ANGEL

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HER STORY:

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I’m walking along the sidewalk near the St. Vincent’s Hospital parking deck and I just plain topple over something. I don’t know exactly what’s happening, but all of a sudden I’m flat on my back and my head is cut and hurting and my eyes are closed because I’m dizzy. I keep squinting, and I’m afraid to look around because I don’t know whether I’m dead or dreaming, or what.

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I hear this deep voice saying, “Just lie still, you’re going to be all right.” I want to see who is talking, so I open up and everything looks dark red and I think maybe I’m blind.

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“I can’t see,” I say to the voice. I think maybe I really am dead.

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The deep voice says, “You will be fine. Just be calm. Just be calm.”

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I try to take a deep breath and hold on. I feel a warm hand touching my forehead and soothing me.

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It isn’t long before I wake up in the emergency room and learn that I really will be all right. The nurses have cleaned the blood out of my eyes and I’m just fine.

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I’ll always wonder how my deep voice angel knew how to comfort me at just the right moment. I wonder if I’ll ever need him again.

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MY STORY:

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I’m walking along, near the St.Vincent’s Hospital emergency room near Christmastime, absentmindedly trailing behind a large woman who is in a hurry. Suddenly, she trips over a partially off-center manhole cover and falls flat to the ground, her head gushing blood. Her eyes are closed, and I lean over to see whether she’s conscious.

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She moves and squints, but the blood from her cut fills her eyes so that she probably can’t see. I don’t want to cause further damage, so I figure the best thing to do is stick by her till somebody comes from the emergency room.

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I sit down beside her so that she will know that she’s not alone out here. I lean close to her ear and quietly speak so that she won’t be startled. “Just lie still, you’re going to be all right.”

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She turns toward me and says, “I can’t see.”

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All I can think to do is reassure her whether or not I know she’s going to be fine. “You will be fine. Just be calm. Just be calm.”

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She responds and seems calmer.

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I recall the comforting healing power of my father’s large hand when he touched my forehead so many years ago, hovering over my sickbed and worrying.

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I reach over and my hand becomes my father’s hand and warmly touches her forehead.

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She lies quietly, almost smiling.

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Within minutes two casually-moving ER employees show up with a wheelchair and escort the woman away. Even though her eyes are still closed, I feel she’s going to be taken care of.

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I walk toward my car and go about my life.

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And I often wonder what this unknown woman thinks about when she remembers her Christmas blindness near a hospital parking deck.

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Does she wonder who I was?

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Does she know that I gave the only Christmas gift I knew how to give

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© Jim Reed 2021 A.D.

Jim’s YouTube Podcast - https://youtu.be/lRulUiFjOeM

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THE CRAYON EPIPHANY

Life, actually…

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THE CRAYON EPIPHANY

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It is dark as night in the middle of the morning in my small bunk-bedroom, just seven or so decades ago.

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I am only a few years old, sitting here on the hardwood floor, scrounging about for a battered old cigar box. It is dark because my eyes are closed.

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My eyes are closed because I am reaching as far as I can into the depths of a closet. I am afraid of what might be lurking there, so I depend upon touch and denial to survive.

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Touch because I’ll know when my hand touches the box that my quest will succeed. Denial because if I don’t see the closet monsters they won’t exist.

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This kind of operative logic keeps me going, though I’ll never tell anyone about it. Don’t want to be laughed at.

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There! I find the Hav-a-Tampa cigar box and drag it forth into the light, my eyes finally re-opened. It smells of old cigars smoked to the nub by my grandfather. The box is saved for re-use by little kids like me.

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I flip the partially-attached top open and wiggle my fingers around various collected objects trying to find enough used crayons to apply to a brand-new five-cent Robinson Crusoe coloring book.

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There is black, a peeled down inch of crayon that will last all summer.

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There is yellow, broken in two and ready to have its craggy tip smoothed down.

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And there is a blue, the only other crayon I can locate this morning if I don’t count the untouched white one. Untouched because what can you do with a white crayon, unless you have black crape paper?

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I stare at the waxy sticks. What can be accomplished with just four crayons and only two colors? Black isn’t really a color, according to older sister Barbara. And white is mostly invisible. So I’m stuck with yellow and blue.

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Would Robinson Crusoe approve of a yellow and blue island?

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I open the book, flatten it so that it won’t snap shut. I begin by coloring the seaside-sky blue, leaving gaps that will represent clouds.

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The beach will have to be yellow today, so I dig in, furiously coloring, and in the process violating the boundary between beach and sea. Suddenly, I have a third color!

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I never knew till this moment that blue and yellow combined produce green! Whattaya know?

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So…this means that the palm tree can be partially green. Its trunk can be lightly blackened—but maybe if I throw in a bit of yellow with the black it will look somewhat natural.

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And so on.

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Having conquered boundaries, I begin mixing colors, creating a kind of fairy tale land where skies are partially green, beaches are black and yellow, trees are blue, and Crusoe himself is a colorless creature standing within this faraway fantasy.

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I have discovered the magic and science of mixing things together to form new and more interesting things. I’m on a roll.

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From now on, I will be experimenting with all the worldly things around me. Twigs will become wands, caterpillars will be pets, blankets will become tents, blue and yellow will become green…

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Life is a burst of good fun right now. Just fun enough for me to forget the closet monsters and ignore the admonitions of teachers who will not approve of blue trees and imaginative little boys

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 © Jim Reed 2021 A.D.

YouTube podcast - https://youtu.be/uc4-XB6HpqA

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O BRAVEST OF BRAVE NEW WORLDS

Catch Jim’s podcast of this story:  https://youtu.be/ADQy4fMr6ZY

Or read it, below:

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Life, actually…

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O BRAVEST OF BRAVE NEW WORLDS 

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OR THE VIRTUAL MIRROR-COMPUTER-TEXTING-GAZE OF THE LONG-LOST SOULS

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Are you really there, and am I actually present here?

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It’s taken me years to almost adjust to the fact that when somebody seems to be in my presence, they often are not.

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I walk into a fast-food restaurant and it comes my turn to order from the menu. The fast-food woman smiles at me, wide-eyed and focused on me…but not really, since I realize that she is staring at a computer screen that is at eye level, she’s reading off her questions, and she hasn’t once seen my face—nor will she.

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The computer is me, to her.

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I enter the living room to greet and chat with a grandchild, but she only screams in protest when I innocently turn the TV off in order to visit with her. I thought I was doing us both a favor by reducing distractions so that we can actually visit with one another.

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She sees only the screen and wouldn’t know it if I were wearing a monkey on my head.

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I’m being interviewed on a TV show by an interviewer who never once looks at me, since she’s staring at herself in the monitor and adjusting her hair and angle the whole time.

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After recording a number of my stories for broadcast on a public radio station, I attempt to exchange pleasantries with the station manager, but I suddenly notice that he’s staring at his computer and clicking away the entire time he talks with me—he is responding to my comments with generic quips but doesn’t know what I am saying. I slink away and he doesn’t notice.

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The game-play kid looks at his lap as he visits with me, his thumb moving the images around, never once looking at my face.

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A texting teen stares enraptured at phone in hand and laughs at what she sees and what she transmits while almost listening to me but never knowing when the conversation has ceased.

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The hospital employee with pods in both ears looks at me but does not hear my question because the music he hears is the thing. I walk away uninformed.

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The hospital nurse talks as she enters and reads from the laptop before her, never seeing me but appropriately answering my questions.

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The man whose home I’m visiting watches his enormous television screen as we chat. He doesn’t see me at all.

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I am the interloper, the real flesh and bone person who is no longer needed in these people’s lives.

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In order to have them see me, I will have to become an entity submerged in their virtual world.

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I see their flesh, they see my electronic self.

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O brave new world.

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Uh, were you saying something

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© Jim Reed 2021 A.D.

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