Listen to Jim’s audio podcast:

http://jimreedbooks.com/mp3/secretsofthegarfieldunderpants.mp3

or read his tale below…

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jim@jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com/podcast

Listen to Jim’s blog:

http://redclaydiary.com/mp3/howtoremainignorantwhileseemingsmart.mp3

or read his comments below…

HOW TO REMAIN IGNORANT WHILE SEEMING SMART

There’s this little trick I taught myself eons ago. This little trick evolved into a technique, maybe into an art of sorts.

How do I explain it to you? Here goes…

I’ll call this little trick RETAINING MY IGNORANCE IN ORDER TO ENHANCE MY WISDOM, ALL THE WHILE AFFIRMING THE EXISTENCE AND IMPORTANCE OF THE PERSON WITH WHOM I AM CONVERSING.

Come to think of it, this little trick may have its roots in my early career as actor and interviewer.

When I was onstage I learned to freeze in place while other actors delivered their lines. Remaining immobile in effect turned the stage over to the actors so that the audience paid rapt attention to them, not me.

As I gained experience, I learned to do more than freeze while getting ready to say my next lines—I learned to relax and actually listen to what was being said, which added reactive depth and authenticity to what I then said.

Get it?

Later in life, when I interviewed people on air, I used this experience to add intensity to the dialogue. Instead of figuring out what to say next, I took a deep breath during the interviewee’s comments and really listened to what was being said. When I replied spontaneously with my next question or comment, I came across as natural and thoughtful—or something like that.

At least this is what happened in the best of times.

After abandoning acting and broadcasting for an extended and stressfully boring career as a Mad Man, I blocked all these techniques from my mind, believing them to lack relevance in my new life.

After I crashed and burned from the Mad Man life, I found hope and joy in doing what I do now—writing, operating a bookstore, performing and hosting, etc.

Then, I realized that everything I had learned as a very young thespian and announcer turned out to be useful in the shop.

When customers seek help or advice or feedback, I make sure they have my full if brief attention. I listen and react, then try my best to take them seriously and give them a hand in finding what they need.

This makes me feel better about what I do for a living, and it seems to bring great satisfaction to most customers, who seem grateful and even surprised that a shopkeeper is focused and attentive and friendly and helpful.

Results are a bit puzzling. For instance, my behavior in the shop gives people the impression that I am smarter and wiser than I really am. I am not necessarily smarter and wiser, I am just Paying Attention—something many folks are not used to, in this no-eye-contact texting virtual confusion of a world we’re in at the moment.

I guess all I am really doing is trying to treat people the way I wish to be treated. When I leave a shop or eatery or event, I feel really good or really bad, depending on how the people in charge deal with me. As long as I keep this in mind at the shop—asking myself, “How did I just now make this customer feel?”—I can find some small bit of pride in having done what I can do with the limited tools and experience I possess.

Ignorance, it turns out, is blissful. Helpful and attentive ignorance is even more fulfilling.

John Jacques Rousseau (you know, That Guy) once said, “To write a love letter we must begin without knowing what we intend to say, and end without knowing what we have written.”

I think I just did that. I spewed forth some unplanned thoughts about a deeply and lovingly felt subject and they turned into a love letter to my customers, a tutorial to anyone who wants to leave each of life’s encounters with the knowledge that perhaps, just perhaps, someone feels a bit better as a result.

And you and I, at our finest, will not even be certain of what we did to make this happen

© Jim Reed 2018 A.D.

jim@jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com/podcast

Listen to Jim’s 3-minute podcast:

 http://redclaydiary.com/mp3/trappedinawindowlesscell.mp3

or read his tale…

TRAPPED IN A WINDOWLESS CELL WITH A HALF-DRESSED MAN

Here I am on hold in a windowless room, a room aglow with stark light emanating from indifferent ceiling fixtures.

Next to me is an examination table covered in white butcher paper, an examination table that awaits me.

But I don’t give up so easily.

Instead of climbing atop the table I stand in the center of the room. I become the temporary examiner in the time I have left before the professional examiner enters.

Efficiently arranged implements stare back at me from a cabinet against one wall. Cotton and sterilizing compounds abound. Instructions and warnings are strewn, and on another wall hangs a rack of brochures that hawk or describe certain unguents and procedures that are available to all who dare.

A few minutes ago a medical assistant makes a few notes, asks some questions, and leaves the room after instructing me to remove my shirt and prepare ye for the doctor’s visit.

The room is chilly, so I keep my shirt on. Will they expel me because I dared not enact what seems to me to be a meaningless gesture? Why should I stand half-dressed in a cold, windowless room, long before I really need to be shirtless? I decide I can take my top off when the doctor herself lets me know it is time.

A small rebellion. But what other powers do I have today? What are my options?

I glance in the mirror and see a fully-clothed geezer who looks much older than I feel. Who took over my essence and stuffed me into a large bleached prune?

I sit in a nearby chair and make a few notes. I arise and read every brochure, most of which want me to look younger if I will just follow instructions and invest certain amounts of cash.

Not a bad idea, looking younger. But then, if I substantially alter my appearance will I still be Me? What would happen to Me, the me I’ve lived many decades being?

Most of my life is spent finding a way to get through each day as Me. It’s really all I have, this Me thing. I decide to continue being me.

Wouldn’t want to terrify or alienate my family and loved ones. They only know me as Me, so maybe I’m doing them a favor by being predictable, by being Present.

Thoughts atwirl fill the room as I wait a bit longer.

All I can think about is the punch line. What punch line will I use should the examiner ask me why I did not remove my shirt as instructed?

What about this retort:

“Well, I did not want to be left alone in a windowless room with a half-dressed man.”

That man being, of course, me.

Will the examiner and assistant get the joke, or will they stare past me and get on with their tasks?

What do you think happened next?

The door opens and in walks

© Jim Reed 2018 A.D.

jim@jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com/podcast

Listen to Jim’s podcast:

http://redclaydiary.com/mp3/traipsingthroughtheland.mp3

or read on…

TRAIPSING  THROUGH THE LAND OF THE HELTER SKELTER MISINFORMED

“Oh, look, they don’t even know how to spell READ.” Voices just outside the bookstore chuckle and point at the REED BOOKS sign.

When these visiting-the-South-for-the-first-time visitors actually enter the shop they are relieved to hear that my last name is REED and that I do, indeed, know how to spell READ.

Sometimes I feel I’ve just missed boarding the Literacy Train. 

Things are overheard in an old bookstore. Amazing things. Delightful things. Sometimes disturbing things.

One wooden box of great quotations suitable for framing is being riffled through. There is a witty one that reads, “Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.” 

A lanky customer looks over at me and says, “You know, this is not the correct quote. The actual quote is, “Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

I am stymied and try to compose my reply. I actually cannot believe he misses the satirical jibe.

“Well, that’s another quote that is true. Two nearly identical statements can be true simultaneously, you know.” This pops out of me before I can guage whether I’m coming across sarcastically or whether the Nerd in me is just trying to educate without mocking.

The customer tries to concentrate, looks back at the placard, then says, “Oh, I see what you mean.”

I gently try to explain further. “It’s just a joke somebody made.”

He seems relieved but confused.

Maybe I should display the two quotes side by side. But chaos might ensue.

One day, a youngish browser hears me quoting Will Rogers, “Things ain’t what they used to be and never were.” He snaps back, “That’s not correct English, you know. Ain’t is a word…”

I stop listening. There are humor gaps everywhere I turn.

I realize that my sense of humor evolved from my parents’ generation. They always threw in terms like “ain’t” and “don’t do nothin’” as gag references picked up from comic strip and  movie and radio heroes. Back then, everybody understood deliberate misuse of language as a kind of joke code. They enjoyed the very same gagmasters, Fibber McGee and Fred Allen and Red Skelton and Minnie Pearl and Lum and Abner and Bob and Ray and Jed Clampett and Groucho Marx and Li’l Abner and Snuffy Smith…

I probably should have thanked the correcter for educating me.

I envision a time when songs like “Ain’t Misbehavin’” will have to be corrected to “Am Certainly Not Guilty of Misbehavior” or “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” will morph to “I Fail to Achieve Appropriate Satisfaction,” etc.

Thank goodness I live in my own little bookie bubble. Thank goodness I can travel to the past and find solace in savvy sages such as Will Rogers, who said, “When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.”

As concerned as I am about the hit-and-miss gaps in education that abound these days, I can still get a laugh or two out of listening to occasional browsers, one of whom explained to his girlfriend, “You see this book, LORNA DOONE? It’s about that village in Scotland that comes to life one day every hundred years.” She is suitably impressed with his font of knowledge and I find myself wanting to re-read H. Allen Smith’s book, HOW TO WRITE WITHOUT KNOWING NOTHING.”

My version would be entitled, HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT LEARNING NOTHING.

All this makes me doubly thankful for all the visitors who lust after knowledge and good reading and  creative learning and, and, and…truth, facts, wisdom, humor, empathy, kind thoughts…

Where would I be without them? I thank them all for the hope they bring into my dusty little shop on 3rd Avenue North at the center of the universe

© Jim Reed 2018 A.D.

jim@jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com/podcast

Listen to Jim’s audio podcast:

 http://redclaydiary.com/mp3/secretsofwritingrevealed.mp3

or read his comments below:

SECRETS OF WRITING REVEALED AMID CLUELESS CLUTTER

 Now that I have your attention, what would you like to know about being or becoming a writer?

There are two kinds of writers. Aspiring writers. Perspiring writers.

Aspiring writers have many explanations as to why they aspire. As an aspiring writer, you may say, “Well, I want to write someday,” or “I scribble a bit but haven’t really started yet,” or “When I complete my degree I want to learn to be a writer,” or “I’m thinking about writing fantasy/sci-fi books,” or “I don’t really have anything to say, but when I do I’ll start writing,” or simply, “I want to be a writer.”

Perspiring writers, on the other hand, don’t make any such comments. These are writers who have the passion it takes to ignore all hurdles and just get busy doing the work. These are writers who cannot live without writing. These are basically the writers who get things done.

Aspiring writers wish they could be great writers–someday. Some even feel that professional writers make it look so easy, surely all it takes is doing it. Kind of like jumping off the roof, fully caped, and flying–just because Superman makes it look so effortless.

Perspiring writers just write. They don’t procrastinate by sharpening pencils, arranging files, clearing off desks, adjusting the light, lining up favorite snacks, losing themselves in endless research, responding to all tweets & faceys…waiting for inspiration. Perspirers just get on with it.

Aspirers often wonder why the writing can’t just write itself, so that time can be spent autographing books, receiving literary awards, rubbing elbows with notables…

Perspirers tend to write out of joy or fear or expedience, knowing that the next word will always appear right after the previous word, that writing is endless–with occasional bathroom breaks or deadline closures.

Aspirers have not yet realized that writing is a habit, an addiction, writing requires practice and repetition. Just like any craft, any art.

Perspirers know that writing is so much fun. Perspirers also know that if it ain’t fun, if it ain’t fulfilling, you might just as well give it up and find something else to do with your time. Indeed, there are many other ways to find fulfillment.

Time for me to sum all this up, so that you can get on with your life.

To get started as a writer:

Begin writing. Don’t outline it. Don’t think about it. Let it come. Spew out what you have to feel and say. Put your fears and your joys and your concerns all down with no structure, no editing. Take notes so that tiny things observed will not be forgotten and will reveal their significance when rediscovered. Then, much later, when it comes time, take a quick look at your notes and begin allowing your fingers to move of their own accord. Don’t guess what happens. JUST SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

Perspirers know, and aspirers will soon learn, that good writing requires the mastering of two distinctly different skills. Writing is one skill. Editing is another skill. And sometimes writing and editing cannot exist within the same person. Every writer needs an editor. Without expert editing, a written work is just an undisciplined jumble of words.

Time for me to go write something now.

Are there any questions

© Jim Reed 2018 A.D.

jim@jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com

http://www.jimreedbooks.com/podcast