Catch Jim’s podcast: https://youtu.be/ZwiwruUnRFc
or read his transcript below:
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Life, actually…
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EVOLUTION OF A SMART ALECK
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Maturity is highly overrated, according to Garfield the cartoon cat.
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Dipping back into the far past, long before Garfield existed, I find myself remembering how I learned to be noticed once in a while. Living within a family of two parents, five kids and various pets and neighbors and relatives, one must be clever but never destructive when vying for position.
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If I make a scene, throw a tantrum, spout something outrageous, mistreat siblings, I will never hear the end of it. But if I can capture interest, engage everybody in a special activity or diversion, attention will be briefly paid.
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Briefly-paid attention from others is my basic need as a child, my basic need to this day.
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I notice that the most insignificant things often rise up and become big-time important for a few seconds if properly executed.
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For instance, if I run through the house hoisting a large hosepipe attached to a vacuum machine, announcing, “I’m going to pressure wash my teeth. Be back in a minute!” I might receive a modicum of attention. Those familiar with my behavior will barely blink, those who do not know me might panic or duck for cover. Or laugh.
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If on the other hand I simply mention that I’m about to brush my teeth, no-one will notice or care.
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But wait—there’s more. If I say, “I think I’ll go to the bathroom and scrub my teeth,” people may look at me peculiarly but immediately continue their daily routines.
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To gain attention and a few laughs, I might yell, “It’s time for me to brush my nose and blow my teeth.” At that point I become the family entertainer. People might pause and wait to see what else I’m going to do—just in case it turns out to be funny.
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And so on.
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My main goal in life is to be so invisible that I can quietly take notes and write about everything that goes on, everything that does not go on, everything that I wish would go on, everything I wish would never go on.
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Invisibility is comforting. It is my cloak, my blankie.
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Now and then, I must emerge from invisibility to enjoy contact with other humans. This is when I find my smart aleck behavior to be useful. I can enjoy the interactions but I can also quickly vanish when enough is enough.
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Does this make any sense? If not, you too can escape me by descending into your own private briar patch. You don’t have to put up with people like me.
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I just provided you with an escape hatch.
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You’re welcome
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