Hear Jim’s Red Clay Diary: https://youtu.be/Y-XnBkTIN5Q

or read his story below…

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Life, actually…

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FRIENDS OF THE TALKING GAS PUMP

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Routine activities help structure my day. Without these routines the clock would advance even more erratically.

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I need my routines. Add just a few pleasant surprises and the brew grows more flavorful. Toss in an unattractive distraction or two and I begin to mumble and grow disoriented.

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It is enough that life spews distractions and shrapnel in my path. It is satisfying that most days, these gnats are just no-see-ums I grow used to swatting aside.

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However…

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Just when I’ve completed decades of slow-growing acceptance of this daily stew, somebody finds a new way to throw me off course.

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At the convenience store gas pump I meditatively insert my credit card and await the sucking sound of money removal. I’m used to that. But suddenly a hyper-happy voice emanates from the instruction screen, demanding that I consider the immediate purchase of candy and sugared fizz drinks and two-for-one-today-only cup holders.

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The jolly words equate with BREAKING NEWS announcements and overly medicated dancers holding pizza parlor posters beside the road. They seem to belong to a union of speed bump denizens. They include large lighted billboards with messages that disappear faster than I can read them.

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I thought that not listening to commercial radio stations while driving would bring calm and peace to a troubled mind. But even my beloved Public Radio station self-promotes with a rapid-fire frequency similar to its competitors’ ads. Preaching to the choir. Jolly yelling.

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Geez.

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This must be grumpy-time on an otherwise lovely morning.

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When I was a child, door-to-door salespeople would knock at Mother’s door to hawk their wares. I’ve seen foot-on-the-threshold ploys up close. I recognize you had better-pay-close-attention moves of every kind.

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Some folks enjoy this form of attention and distraction. For some reason I prefer to be gently wooed by sales forces too big to be ignored.

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Don’t yell. Don’t call me eight times a day with UNAVAILABLE caller ID signals. Don’t send endless streams of emails, do not add incessant pop-ups to my screens, don’t freeze my computer long enough to hustle me.

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Being a contrarian, I will boycott each and every company that forcefully hazes me. I will give due respect to any entity that approaches me in a non-threatening manner and appears to listen to my reply. I prefer discourse and exchange. I respond negatively to aggressive pitches. I prefer polite humans to cheerful robots.

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I’m that village elder who likes to spend money pleasurably. I am not that fragile dude who looks like a pushover for an overpriced purchase.

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I am every merchant’s dream customer if treated with respect

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© 2026 A.D. by Jim Reed