Jim Reed’s Red Clay Diary
EYES WIDE OPEN SHUT
Insomnia can bring the proudest the mightiest the most arrogant to their knees since there seems to be no magic solution to having a drug-free good night’s sleep, the kind of sleep you used to have when you were young and without responsibility.
Back then, you just had to wake up, signal that you wanted to be fed, signal that you wanted to have your diaper changed, signal that you wanted to be cuddled, signal that you just felt restless and wanted to make sure everybody was paying exclusive attention to you and you alone, signal that you were once again ready to sleep the sweet-dreamed-sleep of the innocent.
But nowadays when you can’t get a good night’s sleep you spend the next day wandering around wondering whether you should just lie down on the floor when you feel like it and catch a few seconds of snooze to build up collateral for tonight when sure enough at the exact moment you want to go into deep sleep you become once again more wide-awake than you ever are in the daytime and you lie there trying to find just the right position just the right attitude just the right soothing slumbering thought to make you doze off but then you just snap right awake and find yourself meandering around the house eating ice cream working jigsaw puzzles reading partial chapters and finally dozing off in the most unlikely of spots–never of course in the genuine pre-approved guaranteed spot that they always made you believe you should be occupying during sleep.
In the wee gigantic hours of the morning you almost want to take medication hit yourself over the head into unconsciousness learn Zen so that you can meditate yourself into oblivion run laps till you’re so tired you can at least lapse into exhaustion if not sleep but none of that ever seems to come about so you find yourself going through the daylight hours being distracted and almost completely forgetting that you should be dreading the fact that tonight you once again won’t be able to sleep during the appointed hours and isn’t this somewhat metaphorical or something or maybe you should just stop whining and get on with appreciating the fact that you don’t need as much sleep as others.
You after all can get mucho stuff done like this here diary entry
(C) Jim Reed 2009 A.D.